| It takes absolute intention and diligence to guard your heart in this world online or offline. If you let pride in, it will seize every opportunity to separate us from others and, more importantly, from God. God’s Word is straight up when it comes to pride: “God has had it with the proud, but takes delight in just plain people.” —1 Peter 5:4 The Message “First pride, then the crash—the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” —Proverbs 16:18 The Message "Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty." —Matthew 23:11-12 The Message Pride—What it looks like: In the book Lead Like Jesus: Lessons from the Greatest Leadership Role Model of All Time, authors Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges provide an in-depth look at pride, saying that pride centers on the promotion of self. It is, as we read in Romans 12:3 (NIV), “think[ing] of yourself more highly than you ought." We’ve called out some of the characteristics from their list and applied them to the online environment. Pride does all of the talking: Pride takes credit, demands attention, boasts, shows off, or demands something because of who you are. By staying close to the famous One, you can guard your heart against pride and keep so much of you from dominating so much of everyone else. It’s rare that people will tell you when they see you “overdoing you,” but be assured, they notice. (Perhaps it was the fiftieth profile photo you added in a week. Or, maybe it was the photo of you in your leather jacket next to your Porche with your speedboat casually placed in the background.) The point is that too much “you” may close doors in others’ minds that can never be reopened to the love of Christ. There will always be the posts or conversations about what you are doing and what you like. Those comments make you real and help you connect to others with like interests. It is when you start to drift into the “see me, aren’t I great, don’t I know all the right people, don’t I make a difference?” zone that people will start to shut down. Pride ignores people: Pride considers others who are too far below you in position or credentials as not worthy of your support or the kindness of your follow. Author Philip Yancey hit pride head-on when he said: “Whatever makes us feel superior to other people, whatever tempts us to convey a sense of superiority, that is gravity [of our sinful nature], not grace.” Frankly, nothing says, “I don’t get it,” like a church, a pastor, an author, or a celebrity who has a Twitter following in the tens of thousands and then follows absolutely no one. Then there are others who will only follow the select few they want to follow. You hear then justify it by saying that it is just too hard to follow that many people. It can be overwhelming, indeed to follow so many, but it shouldn’t become an excuse for excluding others. On Twitter, creating lists is an easy way to help you organize followers and keep track of people based on familiarity or interests. For those who do have a massive following, lists can also be made private so you don’t have to feel as though you are offending anyone you’ve not included. Twitter.com provides instruction on how to organize your followers with lists. With Facebook and blogs, interaction is even more important because you have specifically accepted them as a friend or fan or provided a space that asks for comments. If someone takes the time to post a comment and it is never acknowledged, it is like a dropped call. If the conversation always stops and there is never an exchange, then a deeper connection doesn’t happen. Over time frustration builds and people stop trying to engage. You have adequately sent the message that they don’t matter. Pride acts above all: The rules, judgments, and standards you impose on others should not apply to you. It is aghast when someone dares to challenge its thinking. If you are going to step onto the field, you have to be ready to have your thinking and content challenged. How you receive feedback and challenges to your thinking will speak volumes about your heart. This doesn’t mean you back down or don’t defend your thinking. But don’t quickly dismiss others because they obviously don’t have your background or experience. Keeping your heart open can make all the difference. You always have an opportunity to demonstrate grace in how you receive and how you disagree with others online. If you find yourself irritated because someone holds you accountable or challenges you directly it is time for a heart check. Pride’s image comes first: For the prideful person, image becomes more important than substance and truth. When this happens you find yourself fretful about what others think and how they respond to you. You worry about how an unkind comment to or about you will be perceived by others. You are tempted to modify what you do and how you do it, because you want to conform to what you think will be more popular. You may also start to behave inconsistently with who you are or how you really feel. You become vulnerable when you let others govern what you believe is right. When your image is your driving force, you start to slip down a dangerous slope. Pride judges: Pride sees the value of an idea based on who said it rather than the quality of the thought. If you engage in social networking at any level, it’s not long before you notice cliques, experience exclusion, or recognize that you are essentially invisible to some people. Yes, it can be like high school. Accept that this happens, and keep moving. Just don’t be the one to initiate or feed the behavior, which is contrary to the mission. Everyone is capable of a great idea or thought. If you find something great and only feel compelled to share it based on who it came from, then check yourself. The pride buzzer may be ringing. Inspired thinking can come from many places, and it is important to always attribute content to whoever developed it. A worthy idea is a worthy idea. Share the ones that matter and that reflect truth, not just the ones that come from a celebrity source. Let your heart guide you, not the position of the one who said it. Humility—what it looks like: There’s a lot of false humility and exaggerated speech going down online (remember, the undergirding value is to monetize you). So how do you discern the wayward voices? Carefully and prayerfully. The prophet Micah captured the essence of a life well lived. It is not surprising that the Old Testament book in his name discusses the characteristic of humility, particularly how it fits into our relationship with God. “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD requires of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” —Micah 6:8 NKJV Humility reaches out: The easy path is to seek out people in life who are just like you; however, social networking provides the perfect opportunity to reach out to someone who is not like you. Humility finds someone outside its usual circle of friends. It may mean finding someone just getting started in social networking and being that hand that brings him or her along. Humility seeks to serve: Humility looks for opportunities to share what has been given. It will answer a simple tech problem, make a quick recommendation, or offer a resource that might be the perfect portal to sharing Truth in the future. Humility models gratitude: Humility is thankful and says thanks—often. It gives people a nod when kindness is extended. It is diligently generous. Humility acknowledges interactions, favors, referrals, prayer, and when value is shared. Humility has a gentle tone: Humility lifts others up. It doesn’t condescend or diminish another person’s value. It doesn’t ignore, marginalize, or favor, It never criticizes or corrects in public, especially over minor things. Humility thinks less of self: Humility works on behalf of the Lord. Humility promotes His name and His fame over personal agendas. It talks little about itself. If it has written another book, received another award, given another donation, or had lunch with another famous person, it doesn’t plug it—again. It doesn’t drop names repeatedly in order to be elevated or affirmed. Humility listens, responds, and interacts rathers than broadcasts. Humility understands that a little goes a long way. Everyone has an ego. The Apostle Paul, Mother Teresa, Brother Lawrence, and Gandhi all had egos. God crafted you with a healthy amount of ego and installed an internal dial in your spirit that you can adjust at will. You see unmistakable ego in Jesus’ disciples, which proves that even being in God’s very presence isn’t inoculation enough against the pitfalls of pride. You see—or perceive—pride more and more online as more and more Christian authors, speakers, musicians, pastors, and everyday social savvy Joes gain larger online followings. Christ followers are not immune to ego. We all fall prey to the persuasions of the culture and our own haunting needs—to succeed, to be accepted, to be loved, and to know we matter in the world. What you have to remember when you fire up your cache of shiny gadgets each day is that Jesus Christ came to free you from the weight and the burden of all that need. Walter Andrew Murray says the only humility that is really ours is “not that which we try to show before God in prayers, but that which we carry with us in our daily conduct.” So the goal of the saint is to live in that place as part of our intrinsic self. As John so vividly and visually explains the equation, we must decrease so that Christ may increase: "This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines" John 3:30 (The Message). In dying to self you purge the weight of pride so there’s actual real estate in your heart in which humility can live and grow. The originality of humility requires a metamorphosis of brokenness that can’t be taught or passed from one person to another. It has to be reckoned with before the cross, submitted to in the presence of Christ, and rigorously pursued daily. In a spirit of humility you experience true freedom through Christ. It’s a heavenly equation that can confound the people around you. The world can try to graph it, map it, debate it, and reframe it, and still, the most brilliant minds can’t justify how true freedom comes from putting yourself last in the chain of command. Does humility mean you can’t express self-confidence? No, not at all. Just know that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Confidence can talk a lot, but that talk tends to inspire others and be concerned with igniting excellence in others. Arrogance tends to be self-absorbed and oblivious to the needs, insights, or aspirations of others. Expertise, talent, and excellence are God-given and deserve to be recognized this world. When a Christ follower displays excellence in his or her craft or talent, God is glorified in a powerful way, and the world takes notice. However, when that recognition leads to self-elevation, it can be a problem. If you find yourself repeatedly gravitating toward applause or attention online, then it’s a good indication you’ve lost sight of the mission. Know that God loves you too much to allow you to continue on that path for long without stepping in. So check yourself. Living in the Land of Shiny things releases a subtle elixir of false worth into the ear that easily entices. Mercifully, God gives us His word to remind us that our most noble endeavors—while impressive to this world—will never draw heaven’s applause if they lack the heart of humility, which is love. Excerpted from pages 118-124 of @stickyJesus by Tami Heim and Toni Birdsong. Copyright © 2010 Digital Scribe Press, www.stickyjesus.com. Used with Permission. All rights reserved. Photo © Marko Nesic | Dreamstime.com |
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| How to Guard Your Heart by Tami Heim & Toni Birdsong |
