Shameless by Debbie Vanderslice |
| When I was in my mid-thirties, my husband of fifteen years informed me over the phone that he was divorcing me. I was devastated. At that same time, I was also grieving the loss of my best friend. She had been diagnosed with cancer while pregnant with her second child. She was told by the doctors to abort and begin chemo. She refused to abort and began six straight months of chemo. She delivered a perfectly healthy 4 lb. baby but died five months later. I felt like my whole world was collapsing around me. One morning about eight years ago I was having quiet time and reading Matthew 1 with the genealogy of Christ. I began to skip over it, like I always had, but sensed the Holy Spirit telling me to go back and read it. I asked Him why since I couldn’t pronounce the names. He told me to read and research the five women listed in the genealogy. I love research so I did. For two months I researched everything about these women. After two months I sensed God telling me that these women struggled with something that had defined my life…shame. This began a several years ordeal that resulted in my book, Shameless. I wish I could tell you that I wrote Shameless for noble reasons but I didn’t. I wrote it as a way to deal with the crippling emotion of shame in my life. I also wrote about other biblical women who struggled with shame; the woman at the well, the women who bled for twelve years; Mary Magdalene. Trying to escape I grew up hearing God’s name in my home only in reference to it being taken in vain. At the age of twelve I started attending a youth group at a local church. There, for five years, I went every Sunday to hear about a man who helped the hurting. At seventeen I became a Christian. At nineteen I married the first person I had ever dated. I desperately wanted to get out of the home that had brought me so much pain and shame. I tried many different ways to get rid of the shame that seemed to define me. I tried escaping into a tennis addiction. I was ranked number one in the state from the time I was eleven until I was eighteen. I also developed an eating disorder starting when I was fourteen that continued for over twenty years. Nothing I tried to escape into made my shame go away. I used to go to the grocery store at 5 a.m. to escape being seen by others. I can totally relate to the woman at the well who went in the heat of the day to avoid being seen by others. Writing my book has been God’s way of me dealing with my shame and what I thought had defined me. Five women God has graciously allowed me to see and understand that out of the billions of women God could have listed in the genealogy of Christ, He only listed five. All had to overcome shame. Yet, in spite of their shame God used them greatly. By doing research for this book it helped me to see that single events or consistent abuses do not define us. Christ and Christ alone defines us. I used to think I had nothing to offer God. But I am slowly learning that all I have to do is be myself and let Him live through me. I am far from perfect but I have learned through writing Shameless that I don’t have to try and be perfect. All I have to do is be real and honest. We can all have freedom and peace if we will just be real. What God did for these women of yesteryear He can do for us today. |
Debbie Vanderslice graduated with a B.A. in history and has been a freelance writer in Christian literature and with greeting
cards across the nation. Shameless is Debbie’s first book. A native of Arkansas, Debbie enjoys running, reading, and
spending time with her family. She currently resides in Little Rock, Arkansas.
cards across the nation. Shameless is Debbie’s first book. A native of Arkansas, Debbie enjoys running, reading, and
spending time with her family. She currently resides in Little Rock, Arkansas.
Copyright © 2009 by Debbie Vanderslice. All rights reserved.
© Photoeuphoria | Dreamstime.com
Order a copy of Shameless: www.wmustore.com or www.target.com
Contact Debbie: debwrites@netzero.com
Contact Debbie: debwrites@netzero.com